Over thousands of years, the societies of the world have
created a set of rules to be followed.
Expectations for how each of us should behave and think. Most of us follow these rules without
question. And those of us who
choose to challenge these rules often face tremendous backlash. Society as a whole tries to force the
person to conform. You can see
this playing out in our society today with the current fights over racial,
gender, and income inequality to just name a few. One side is choosing to say to the system that it can no
longer control them. The other side
is behaving in a way designed to maintain the status quo order and
control. This fight exists in
every layer of our society. So
think about it – how is this fight playing out in your own life?
This struggle for control, I believe, is at the root of all
of our unhappiness. It shows up
very early in our lives when well-meaning people choose to decide what is best
for us. Now, I agree, when we are
children our ability to make safe decisions is limited. But children are capable of much more
choice than they are often allowed.
I’ll go into that more in future posts. But right now, the question I am asking you to look at is
how can you be free to live your life the way you want to while at the same
time getting along with the people you want to have in your life? How can you stop living your life
according to society’s expectations, and start living it based on your
own?
I would say the first step is to take a step back, open your
eyes and ears and just notice how this battle between control and choice plays
out in your own life. Listen to
the way you’re spoken to and the way you speak to others. Consider how you behave in one
environment versus another or in front of one person or another. Think about the situations where you
feel powerful and powerless and what is the difference between the two? Awareness is the first step to any kind
of change after all. It is also
the first step to making changes and better choices for yourself.
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